Thrive Wave Coaching

Too often we look at life in hindsight, leaving us filled with regrets. What if we flipped the coin?

Discover what matters most in life by fast-forwarding to the end.

I’ve often heard how a dramatic life event or a near-death experience has changed life for the better. It might sound a bit contradictory, but it’s true. I have experienced it, too.

The thing is, these events give us a new perspective and force us to think about the legacy we want to leave behind. It gives us an opportunity to evaluate, reset, and move forward in life with a deeper connection to ourselves and a clearer vision of our future.

But you don’t have to wait for something dramatic to happen. There’s a way to trigger your brain into this mode. And I’ll show you how in this post. So, keep reading!

Fast-Forward to the Finish Line

In the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey introduces a framework called Begin with the End in Mind. He starts the chapter with a visualization exercise. He prompts you to vividly visualize your own funeral three years from now.

Covey suggests thinking about what people would say in their speeches, what emotions you’d sense, and what impact you’d have made on the people present. Furthermore, he encourages you to write your own eulogy.

This exercise might sound quite horrible at first. I mean, who would want to think about their own funeral? To see all the loved ones mourning. To sense the sadness, pain, and sorrow. To feel the crushing weight of time lost and the things left unsaid and done.

The aim is not to bum you out, quite the contrary. It’s to spark your intuition and inner motivation. It’s to help you understand what really matters most in life and inspire you to live a life that supports this — A life with no regrets.

Anyone who has faced death or their mortality will tell you this: It gives you perspective.

As you are faced with death [whether it’s a visualization or real life], you realize what matters to you. Your core values emerge and are present stronger than before. These realizations expand your understanding and give you a new, larger view of life.

Suddenly, the things you were worried about lose their grip on you because you realize they don’t matter. You start to base your decisions and actions on your values instead of expectations, norms, or material gain.

It’s like hitting mute on all the people and circumstances you were reacting to before. No more putting out fires 24/7. Instead, you focus on creating the desired outcomes by increasing the volume of your intuition, values, and true self.

This is not to say that we suddenly turn into supreme versions of ourselves that don’t get distracted by the busyness of everyday life. We do. That’s normal; life happens. But when we are reminded of our values and tune into ourselves, life becomes a whole lot easier and smoother.

Exercises like Begin with the End in Mind allow us to refocus on what matters and the legacy we want to leave behind.

Tap Into Your Intuitive Mind

Remember how easy it was as a kid to play? We didn’t need much as long as we had our imagination. Just think about the game The Floor is Lava.

As we grow older, we tend to silence the creative part of our minds and turn to the reasoning and logic provided by the other half of the brain. Our society, families, or environment often pressure us to ‘grow up’ and to behave rationally. In other words, stop playing and dreaming.

Over time, accessing the creative mind can become difficult. It needs practice, exercise, and habits to keep it vigorous. But even if you’ve become rusty, there are ways to spark the intuitive half of the brain, such as playing music, dancing, doodling, or daydreaming.

Another powerful tool is visualizations, such as the one above. If you’ve never done a visualization before, don’t be discouraged if it feels difficult or if you notice your mind wandering. It might take a little practice to jump-start the right side of the brain. But you’ll get there.

So, let’s try this. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine you only have three more years to live. What would you want to achieve in those three years? What kind of a person would you want to be? How would you like to impact the lives of the ones around you?

Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.

“If you’re going to live, leave behind a legacy. Make an impact on the world that can never be erased.” — Maya Angelou

So, what now? How does this help to create my legacy?

For starters, you might notice similar topics emerging in the answers for all three questions. Those are strong indicators of your core values and what makes your life meaningful.

For me, a common topic was helping others and leaving the world behind a little bit better (even if it was just for a few people or a sea turtle).

Next, this insight can give you a direction for your life. As you evaluate your answers look out for strong emotional reactions. These usually indicate that the matter is important to you and helps piece together your legacy.

Finally, work backward and create a blueprint for your life. Break down your legacy into smaller goals , yearly or monthly. What do you need to do to make it all happen? Start implementing one small improvement every day and work towards your goals. Don’t wait for a better moment , start today.

As a bonus, decision-making becomes easier, and your life becomes more stable and meaningful. This requires you to align your decisions and actions with your values and what really matters.

What’s Your Legacy?

Before experimenting with the above, I had a vague concept of what I wanted my legacy to be. Afterward, I was able to piece the puzzle together.

I had the urge to help people but didn’t know how. Or at least, how to make a noticeable difference. When I did my visualization, I remembered something I had been told a while back: “You should write a book about your experiences. You have plenty of stories to share.”

Now, I don’t know if I’ll ever end up writing a book, but sharing my stories might just be the thing I was missing.

Up until now, I have kept my struggles and challenges mostly to myself. I wasn’t ready to share them yet. As I did this visualization, it became evident that I should. I realized that sharing my stories, lessons learned, and how I’d overcome my challenges could become a way to help others. It had worked before.

Some time ago, I chatted with a new acquaintance at a get-together. I was tired and not up for small talk, so I jumped right into the deep end. Somehow, I ended up sharing my experience growing up with an alcoholic parent.

As I was halfway through, I saw how the other person’s face lit up, the muscles relaxed, and I sensed a strong relief. Excitedly, they burst out how amazing it was to know that they were not alone. And that it was ok to talk about these things!

The thing is, we tend to suffer with our pain alone. We don’t want to burden anyone with our problems, so we keep them to ourselves. We don’t feel safe, so we build a wall and hide behind it. We pretend as if everything’s fine when it’s not.

What we often don’t realize is that there are others in the exact same situation, silently struggling just as we are.

So, when it comes to my legacy, I hope that I’ll be able to reach the people who are suffering alone with their pain, to bring them comfort, hope, and encouragement. To share with them the tools that have helped me along the way. To let them know; that you are not alone and that you can get past the difficult times, too. More importantly, you deserve a good life, and it’s within your reach. <3

I’m curious, what do you want your legacy to be?

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