Control Your Mind, Control Your Life
Do you struggle with catastrophising, excessive worrying, or going through a never-ending series of worst-case scenarios? It’s like your mind is continuously crafting masterful scripts that would make awesome action movies starring Jason Statham.
But there’s a catch. The scripts feel so real that it’s difficult to separate them from what is really going on in life right now. This happened to me just this morning.
Let me take you back to the scene.
It’s 4:30 AM on a Saturday morning, and I’m walking down a completely deserted street. Next to me walks a huge black Doberman, relaxed and occasionally stopping to sniff the grounds.
Besides us, two rabbits are enjoying the fresh grass next to the sidewalk, and a couple of birds are singing their morning tunes up in the trees. The air I breathe is still fresh and clean. There’s not a hint of danger or reason to believe that something bad would happen right now.
Yet my mind keeps racing and coming up with all kinds of stories about all the things that could go wrong. At the same time, I have created escape plans for all the possible dangers lurking behind the next tree, just to be prepared. I’m anxious and so caught up in the action movie playing in my head that I don’t even notice how peaceful it is around me.
Does this ever happen to you? Where your mind goes into overdrive and jumps right into the worst-case scenarios, constantly worrying, and staying cautious.
Our minds can be pretty convincing when we let them run wild. They keep telling us stories and painting vivid pictures so captivating that we forget the present moment. Or even worse, they keep us from doing the things we actually want to do or experience. They stop us from taking a shot at life and enjoying it.
The Quick Guide: How to Keep Your Mind in Check
If you tend to overthink, catastrophise, or worry, you might have also wondered why this keeps happening (and how to stop it).
The short answer: It’s the way your brain has been wired. The root cause probably lies somewhere in your childhood experiences or a traumatic event. A time in life when you didn’t feel safe, in control, or had to cope with a scary or difficult situation without the needed support. It’s the brain’s safety mechanism, like a shield protecting us from harm and pain.
The downside? It affects how we see and experience the world, and can distort our outlook on life negatively. We constantly replay worst-case scenarios, worry, and prepare for something bad to happen. We live out the stories our brain tells us and forget to live in the real world and the present moment. And quite frankly, it is exhausting, even depressing at times.
The good news? Our brains can be rewired. It’s similar to learning a new skill or building muscle, it requires practice and repetition until it becomes easy. In this case, we must learn to interrupt the automatic thinking patterns and train our brains for new ones.
Whenever I notice myself derailing once again into catastrophizing, excessive worry, or overthinking, I follow a three-step framework to stop it before it takes over. And I’ll share this same framework with you now.
Stop catastrophizing with three steps:
- Acknowledge that thoughts are just thoughts (They’re not always true!)
- Ground yourself in the present moment
- Flood yourself with positive thoughts
First, acknowledge that your thoughts are just thoughts, it doesn’t mean that they are true. Sometimes they are just really good movie scripts. If you struggle with this, ask yourself: Is this thought really true? Is there a hint that indicates otherwise?
During my morning walk, I started questioning my thoughts. Was there something lurking behind the tree? Nope. Was there any sign that something bad was going down? Nope. Was there anyone around who could hurt me? Nope (unless the rabbits were secretly mutants that could do karate).
Next, ground yourself in the present moment. Focus on your surroundings. Where are you? What is happening right now? Who’s there with you? What do you see, hear, smell, taste, or feel on your skin? Whenever you notice your mind wandering off, refocus on one of your senses.
Another way is to focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath in and feel the air flowing in through your nose, all the way into your lungs. Then slowly release your breath and feel how your chest lowers as the air flows out again. Repeat until you’re starting to feel calm and relaxed.
The last step is especially helpful if you tend to get distressed, sad, or depressed due to catastrophising, overthinking, or worrying. The aim is to flood yourself with positive thoughts. This can be done, for example, by listing things that are going well in life, your achievements, or things you are grateful for. It can be anything that has a positive association and lifts your mood, really.
Control the Narrative — Control Your Life
The stories we tell ourselves might sound silly when told out loud or written on a piece of paper, but they feel 100% real. And that’s why it’s so difficult to let go or stop.
This is why we need a go-to framework that provides a structured way to rewire our thinking patterns. A framework that’s easy to implement anywhere and anytime. One that enables us to let go of the fear, pain, and the ghosts of the past, and helps us live our lives in the present.
So, next time you notice your mind going into overdrive, follow these three steps:
- Acknowledge that thoughts are just thoughts
- Ground yourself in the present moment
- Flood yourself with positive thoughts
It will help you calm your mind, keep the catastrophizing, worry, and worst-case scenario thinking in check. You’ll gain control over your life, find peace in the present, and gain courage to act when opportunities come knocking.
The stories control our lives, but you control the stories. Write a story that you are eager to live. Save the rest for Hollywood.
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