Habits keep us repeating the same actions and behaviour over and over again. Breaking free from this loop might feel impossible, but it’s not.
Habits are actions or behaviors that have become automatic through repetition. Our minds are always looking for the easiest and fastest way to get a task done, so it forms automatic thought processes. These are formed over time and through repetition.
Take walking for example, most of us learn it as young kids and do it every day. When we need to walk from place A to B, we do not need to think about the action of walking. It happens on autopilot, because our brains have developed a shortcut for this action — a habit.
Habits run on autopilot, which is why we might not even notice our habits, wanted or unwanted. This is also why getting rid of undesired habits sometimes feels impossible.
Why is Changing Habits so Difficult?
Many times, we try to change our habits without really understanding how and why they are formed. This often leads to us going all in in the beginning and giving up a couple of weeks later.
Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution? And did it last? Most times, they fail because we try to make big changes in little time.
Trying to change something you have been doing and conditioned for your entire life in one month, is setting yourself up for failure. Our brain wants to operate in the safe zone, but change is not considered safe. Our brain will resist new things or actions, which makes it difficult to follow through.
How are Habits Formed?
Habits are formed through habit loops, which are psychological processes that consist of three key components: cue, routine, and reward.
1. The Cue
A habit loop starts with a cue or a trigger, which signals the brain to start a particular behavior. The cue or trigger can be a specific event, emotion, time of day or an environmental cue, such as a smell or visual trigger. The cue or trigger is often connected with an expected reward, which motivates us to behave and act the way we do.
For example, a cue can be the smell of freshly ground coffee as you walk past your favourite coffee shop, or feeling stressed at work.
2. The Routine
Next we act in response to the trigger or cue, which is the routine. This can be a physical or a mental activity that we have learned through repetition. The repetition strengthens the neural pathways in the brain associated with this habit. The more we repeat it, the more automatically we will act on the cue and the less conscious our habits become.
The routine after smelling the fresh ground coffee, could be to go grab a cup of coffee. Or, if you are triggered by stress, it could be eating, smoking, or increased negative self-talk.
3. The Reward
The routine is followed by a reward, which is the expected outcome or reinforcement associated with the behavior. The reward reinforces the habit loop and makes it more likely for us to repeat the behavior the next time we face the same trigger or cue.
A reward for coffee enthusiasts is to taste the hot coffee as you slowly sip on it. The reward for stress relief through eating, smoking or negative self-talk, is a temporary sense of relief. These, however, are often short-lived and do not help with managing stress in the long run.
Change Takes Time
Since our brain is always looking for the most efficient and easiest way to operate, it will fall back on these automated patterns whenever possible. Even when the outcome is negative, our brain will still perceive it as safe because the outcome is known and predictable.
To change a habit, we need to identify the triggers. When we know our triggers we can actively start changing our response and how we react in these situations. Creating new habits takes 2–3 months. Be patient and consistent when changing your habits, and remember that small set-backs are not the end of the road, they are just potholes in the street.
Don’t know where to start? Take a few moments to reflect on your past week and try to recognize habits you want to change. Think of a specific moment when this habit took over and try to identify the trigger.
Next, think of a better reaction to the trigger in that situation. How could you have behaved differently? In the following weeks, look out for similar situations and recognize your automatic habit loop in the action.
Once you recognize that you have been triggered, take a deep breath and remind yourself of the alternative way to react to this trigger. Over time, you will notice how this process becomes easier and faster.
And last but not least, don’t take on too much at once! Focus on one or two habits, that you want to change and break it down to small and manageable steps you can take.
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