Do you have that negative voice in your head, judging the smallest mistake you made earlier that day. You might have said something irrelevant or froze up in a meeting when your boss asked for your insight.
Perhaps you had to work late and couldn’t make it to after work drinks with your friends. Now, all you can think about is what you missed out on.
Or do you jump to the worst scenario possible, whenever something does not go as planned? It’s e never ending loop of negative thoughts that we easily get stuck in.
The thing is most of us experience these thoughts every now and then. What many do not know, is that these are actually thinking patterns that we have taught our brains to use. The aim is to create shortcuts for our brain, so that it can function more efficiently and use less energy. Dr. Daniel Amen calls these Automatic Negative Thoughts, or ANTs, which might be stealing your happiness, ruining your day and causing you anxiety.
Here are some examples of ANTs:
- All-or-Nothing: “Nothing ever goes my way”
- Less-Than: “All these people on social media are doing so great and I’m not”
- Guilt-Beating: “Oh, I should have eaten a salad for lunch.”
- Fortune-Telling: “My alarm didn’t go off and now I’m late for work. I will be fired!”
Do any of these seem familiar?
Here comes the good news: these thinking patterns can be changed!
The problem with these thoughts is that they are automatic, so it’s hard to recognize them. What happens is, we take them as the truth and act accordingly. But here’s the thing, most of these thoughts are not even true! And the rest of them, just make you feel bad and keep you stuck in the past.
The up side is, once you start to recognize these patterns, you can rewire your brain to create new patterns associated with more realistic thoughts. Instead of ‘Nothing ever goals my way’ you’ll be able to recognize that this event did not go as planned, but perhaps you gained some new insight and are better prepared for the future. This new thought sounds a lot more supportive doesn’t it?
So what does it take to rewire your brain and get rid of those happiness stealing ANTs?
Well, the first step is awareness. We need to learn to notice these automatic negative thoughts, and this is the tricky part. So what I suggest is, take a moment to reflect.
Go back in time to a situation where you where stuck in this negative thought loop. It can be something that happened earlier that day, that week or even that month. The key is to find one specific situation that triggered your negative thoughts.
Now replay the situation in your mind with as much detail as possible. Where were you, who was with you, what was happening and how did you feel? Try to make it as vivid as possible.
Now notice how the negative thoughts start taking over. This is the time to stop and reframe the situation. Which is step two in our process. You can ask yourself, are these negative thoughts true? If your answer is yes, ask your self again, are these really, really true? Try to find some evidence that proves the opposite.
Lets take our previous examples of ANTs and see how this could look like.
Instead of “Nothing ever goes my way” try “I had difficulties with this task/situation, but I the bus was on time this morning, so I made it to work on time”
Instead of “All these people on social media are doing so great and I’m not” try “People post their best side and successes on social media, it is only a fracture of what is going on in their lives. I am good enough!”
Instead of “Oh, I should have eaten a salad for lunch.” try “I really enjoyed that pasta for lunch, I realize now that I was stressed and I was driven by my emotions, next time I try to be more aware and go for the salad.”
Instead of “My alarm didn’t go off and now I’m late for work. I will be fired!” try “My alarm didn’t go off and now I’m late for work. What could I do to prevent this from happening again?”
Do you notice how the new thinking patterns is far more supportive and puts you in a different mood? And this is the secret to taking back control from your ANTs. All it really takes, is a pinch of doubt that your automatic negative thoughts are not true and you will be able to rewire your thinking patterns.
The last but not least step is repetition. This process takes time and some effort, but the more you do it the easier and faster it gets. Start by reflecting back on situations that triggered you negative thoughts and reframe these. Soon, you will notice that you are able to reframe your thoughts in the moment as your negative thoughts try to hijack your day and stop them.
What ANTs do you struggle with?
________________________________________________________________________________
What if you could live a life to your fullest potential and make a positive impact in the world as you do so. You are able break free from any barrier holding you down and overcome any challenge in your way! You are on your way to create an extraordinary and beautiful life that is 100% yours.
We at Thrive Wave Coaching are committed to help you overcome any challenges holding you back from reaching your fullest potential, so that you get to create your extraordinary life. Get in touch or check out our coaching program for more info!
- The Hidden Cost of Succeeding at the Wrong Life
- The Success Paradox: Why 90s Grit is Failing the 2026 Leader
- I Wasted Years Chasing the Wrong Goals – Never Again
- Productivity Sabotage: The Internal Lies That Make You Refuse to Rest
- How to Define Your Core Values When You Have Zero Clue Where to Start